Team Monster
by Hopelessromantic721
Summary: An old story really. But please do enjoy! A mysterious team has appeared, and what is thier purpose? ....well, whatever it it, they are sure to cause havoc and destruction along the way! Join Jake, Typhoon, and Flame! Created by Carkki's permission.


Sonic the Hedgehog  
Original Characters

In the quiet of the night, where the fog clung to the ocean waters like a deathly plague and the sun had yet had the pleasure of showing its happy face, there stood 3 shadowed figures either sitting or standing around the large boxes made to be shipped away on ships. The docking bay was empty of life, leaving only the few sail boats behind floating on the water surface. One of the figures twitched slightly as the near clock tower struck 3 am.

"Hey, Jake." One of the shadowed figures said. The leader turned to one of the shadow figures behind him. He flapped his wings to indicate it was him who spoke. "You going to be alright?"

"Yeah." The figure sighed. He shook off the weird feeling and smirked to himself. "Time to find that thief!" he announced without even moving his lips.

"Alright!" the third shadowed figure cried out. He swung his fist in the air, pretending to be fighting someone else.

"Are you sure you should be going this early after you-"

"Yeah, yeah!" the leader said, waving his hand carelessly. He grabbed onto his comrades hands and bolted down the wooded docks, laughing insanely all the way.

Team Rose was at the beach the very next day. Amy was on her towel, sunbathing with her shade over her eyes and wearing her new 2 piece (and very skimpy) bikini suit. Big was fishing on the shallow waters, staring intensely into the waters as he saw fish swim by his feet. Cream was playing with her beloved friend Cheese and her (is it a girl or boy?) brother Chocola, giggling as they built a small sand castle. Froggy hopped along the happy trio in the nice summer air.

"Ah…" Amy sighed in content. "This is the life. No Eggman to bug us, no monsters attacking town, no one's missing and alive. We're all here to enjoy ourselves," she placed her hands behind her head. "Everything's just great."

Something suddenly the sun was out of her vision and left her in darkness. "Cream, honey, could you move? You're blocking the sun." she said tiredly.

The shadow didn't move and continued to stand there. From her line of vision, she could tell that one was staring right at her.

"Cream, do you need something?" she asked again.

"Hey Boss! She's weaker than she looks. And she's fine too!" A deep voice said.

Amy snapped her eyes open, and even though she had she shades on, she could tell that it was NOT Cheese, Cream, or Big!

"I bet she'll taste nice." The figure hovering over her said with a perverted smirk. Another stood by with a long tongue almost touching the ground, while the last one was staring at her, almost drooling.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Amy screamed at the top of her lungs, the air itself shaking under her shriek. Cream and the others started to run to Amy's aid. Though she didn't need any, because when they got there, they saw 3 guys on the ground with lumps on the head. One was smiling almost looking like he enjoyed the pain he had, and Amy standing above panting angrily.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" she screeched. One of the unconscious boys stood up quickly, and grinned at her. He started to step closer and grabbed her by the wrist. He was much stronger than her, and had a very good grip.

"LET GO!!" Amy screamed. Holding her Piko Piko Hammer high, she prepared to strike, but the man grabbed her other wrist, holding it above her head. He leaned in grinning in a perverted way, making Amy shiver under his strong gaze upon her.

"We don't want to hurt you." He said smirking. "You can hurt us all you want, but we're not going to fight back." He said.

"Who are you?" Amy said in a shaky voice. She never faced an enemy this…this…well, like this before. She was getting nervous.

"The names Jake." He said letting go of her.

Amy took a good look at him. He was the strangest animal she'd ever seen. "What are you?" she asked steeping back.

The creature looked at himself with a curious look on his face. "Don't know. I guess I'm just an animal." He said shrugging.

The other two stood up slowly, rubbing their heads. One looked like…Knuckles? But it couldn't be. No. This guy looked different. His eyes were strange, but he's the same species as Knuckles. 'I thought Knuckles was the last of his kind.' Amy thought.

The man smiled, throwing his hands in a peace sign. "Violence rules!!!" he shouted randomly, banging his head slightly. He noticed her staring at him strangely and in an instant, pulled out a camera. "Hold that pose!" he shouted holding the camera up to her face. "Aw, this isn't right! We need her wearing something dark, something black and says, "I want world pollution!", and maybe….some flames on the trees behind her, maybe some blood on her…" he circled her, still filming. "Yeah, yeah. That'd be perfect!" he said sounding excited.

"What?!" Cream shrieked. "Not the trees!" Cream screamed. The member ignored her and continued to film the surroundings like an excited little kid, picturing the whole gory scene.

The last member turned up carelessly. He looked like Sonic, but he had wings on his back! He looked to the sky, eyeing the clouds. Suddenly, he pulled out his gun from behind. He shot the sky three times in the air, and to Creams horror, three birds landed right in front of her…dead. She screamed bloody murder running to Big in tears.

"Why did you kill them?!" Amy shouted angrily. Fire was visible in her eyes as he stomped her way to the team.

The member just shrugged his shoulders. "Because." He said. "I hate birds."

Amy was beyond angry, but all her anger vanished when she saw the strange animal creature next to Big. He had the same perverted smirk on his face, but Big just stared back clueless.

"My, my. You're a big fella." He said patting his belly. "No doubt your big everywhere, right my friend?" he said, his smirk growing.

Big and Cream stood together, or Cream just scooted closer to him; scared of the animal. Big just stared down at him expressionless.

"Hey!" Amy shouted charging for the animal her hammer held high. The animal turned to her, and smiled. He stood there, his arms spread out in front of him. Amy screeched to a halt.

"What are you doing?" she said looking at him with a confused expression.

The creature opened one eye to look at her. "I'm waiting." He said calmly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Amy would have the decency to ask more questions, but she heard Cream screaming once again, hugging her Choa close to her.

"They're not birds!!!" Cream screamed, blocking her choa from the gun that was pointing at her back. "I said their not birds!"

"But they fly! So they must be birds!" the hedgehog said flapping his wings in frustration.

Amy ran to him and knocked him into the sand. "Leave her alone already!" she shouted. Cream screamed once more and she saw the Jake was saying something to her, making her face pale and absolutely shaking uncontrollably in the knees. The other member was filming her face, liking her scared look more and more.

"Aright! THAT'S IT!!!" Amy shouted throwing her hammer to the ground. "What do you freaks want with us?! We're on vacation, and we don't need you F&# A&#'s around to ruin our day! So LEAVE!!!!" she screamed the ground below her shaking beneath her anger.

The group stayed silent, watching her with wide eyes. "Whoa." The Echidna laughed. "That was awesome! I even saw lighting and fire back there!" he checked his camera. "Aw man! I didn't film it! Do you think you could do it again?" he asked.

Amy's eye twitched. "AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!" Amy grabbed her hammer which grew 10 times it size. "GO AWAY!!!!!"

The two members yelped in surprise and ran off, grabbing Jake the animal along the way before he could have been squished by the massive hammer.

"Aww, why'd you do that?" Jake said pouting.

"They're wouldn't be any of you left to search for the Opal Jake!" The one with the wings said. He grabbed both his teammates and flew off into the sky, just before Amy came and swung her hammer at them.

"But Flame," Jake whined to the flying hedgehog.

"No buts! We need that jewel!" He sniffed the air. "I can't smell that thief here anymore. She was here though; must have been talking to these people before we came."  
"But Flame," Jake said.

"My movie is going to be great!" the Echidnas said smiling cheek to cheek with his camera at hand.

"Not now Typhoon!" Flame the hedgehog said glaring at his teammate. Clearly, his patience was running thin.

"Uh, Flame." Jake said tapping his shoulder.

"What?!" he shouted turning to Jake with a deathly. The animal was pointing down below them with a careless gaze. They all looked down to see 3 other animals below. One was a blue blur, while the other two were in a blue plane.

* * *

"One of the other teams is down there." Jake said with an innocent expression.

"Oh! You think?!" Flame yelled beyond angry and nearing to a point of ripping his leaders head off. But he and Typhoon knew they wouldn't even get a scratch on him. That's why he's the leader after all.

"So…are we gonna question them or keep flying?" Jake asked innocently once more.

"Oh shut up!" Flame shouted, taking a dive downward.

Meanwhile…down below…

"Ha, ha! Is that the fastest you can go Tails? I've seen slugs go faster!" Sonic laughed. He ran backwards, laughing at Tails' pissed off expression.

Tails from the cog pit growled at Sonic's smug grin. He worked for hours on the boaster rockets. He was sure it was at least fast enough to past Sonic by now!

"Er…Tails?" Knuckles said hearing tails' low dangerous bar-like growls. "Can we go home now? I'm getting hungry, and we've been doing this for-"

Tails suddenly saw something drop from the sky, and at a VERY fast rate.

"Someone's falling!!" tails cried out.

Indeed, someone _was_ falling. Before anyone could do anything the person crashed in front of Tails' vision.

"Dah! Get it off! Get if off! Get it off!" Tails started screaming with tears. The poor kitsune thought the thing was dead, so…he panicked.

"Hello!" said Typhoon.

"Your alive?" Knuckles asked shocked. His brain started to fritz out as NO one can live through a 30 foot fall. "But he-He couldn't just-3stries for Cookie's sake!" he rambled on.

"Get off!" Tails screamed, but it was too late. He accidentally turned the wheel, and headed straight for the mountain side.

"Aw crap." Knuckles mumbled.

"KABOOOM!!!!"

The plane crashed instantly catching flame and sending all the occupants of the plane flying! Tails spun his tails in midair, staring in horror as his plane caught fire.

"MY PLANE!!!" Tails cried.

Knuckled crashed into a mountain side, flat as a pancake. He muffled something as his limbs twitched, sliding down the wall like a smashed up turnip.

The other occupant however, landed on his head, skidding on the land leaving a long trail behind.

Knuckles pulled his face off the wall with a slight sucking sound of his face sticking to the wall, pulling some teeth as he did so. "Release the hounds!" he exclaimed stupidly before passing out.

Sonic ran over to Tails, holding him back by the hysterical Tails as he tried to jump into the flames to save his plane.

"Tails! Snap out of it!" Sonic cried out gabbing the kitsune's double tails. "Are you insane?!" Sonic shouted.

"MY PLANE!!" Tails cried out. "MY BABY!! NOOO!!!" Tails sobbed.

"You'll build another one! Now come-" Sonic got a good hold on his tail and pulled him away from the flames. "Let's go!"

"Waaaah!" Tails cried as he was dragged on the ground.

"Wow!" cried out a voice beside them. Sonic turned to see Typhoon enjoying the fireworks. "Man! If only I had my-"

"CLUNK!" a small camera landed (or more like thrown) on his head. Sonic just watched him with a shocked expression written on his face. ((AT: Kinda like this.  Oo))

"And take that stupid camera with you!!" shouted a voice above.

"Wow! Great timing!" he said ignoring the large lump on his head. "YES! YES! Flames and uproar!" he said filming the plane. He turned to Tails. "Good! More tears! Show your anguish Mr. badger! No…wait, that's more angry than sad, but why are you giving the "I have a sudden urge to murder someone" look at m-"

"I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!!" Tails shouted, lunging at Typhoon with raging eyes.

"Dah! Help! Mad badger! Mad badger!" Typhoon screamed as Tails punched the living daylights out of him.

"Why are you hitting my friend?" said a voice in Tails' head. Tails spun around from mid-punch to see two more animals dropping from the sky; only more graceful than their companion did.

"HE DESTROYED MY PLANE!!" Tails shouted with flames in his eyes.

The one with the wings smiled. "Yeah, that was awesome." he said smirking.

The other one walked to the fire curiously. "Hmm…could use more-" he pulled out a small bottle. "TNT!" he said happily. He unscrewed the cork, and sprayed a few drops in the fire. The flames increased 4 times, along with several explosions and few small desert creatures on fire.

Tails paled from orange to pearl white as the explosions erupted and fireworks shot to the skies.

"Yay! Fireworks!" an injured Typhoon exclaimed, waving his arms about happily like it was the 4th of July. Tails watched horrified for a minute, then fainted.

Knuckles, who was unconscious up till now, walked up beside Sonic, rubbing his head in pain. "Who are these clowns?" Knuckles whined.

Sonic shrugged crossing his arms over his chest. "Aren't you gonna help tails?" Knuckles asked, giving Sonic the "Aren't you his protecting and loving big brother you lazy bum!"

Before Sonic could reply, the leader ran up to Sonic with a devilish smile. "At last, we meet for the first time for the last time." He said. Sonic gave him an odd look before Jake continued. "So you're the "blue blur" I've heard so much about, right?" Jake said eyeing him suspiciously.

(AT: Sonic's ego boosted to….eh, TT; too many numbers.)

"Well, actually, I am!" Sonic said placing his hands on his hips proudly.

"Your a lot smaller than I was expecting you to be." Jake said.

"What?! I have you know, I grew over 3 feet of my cousin!" Sonic exclaimed.

"But Sonic, they're all can't talk to yo-"

"I wasn't talking about your height." Jake said smirking, his eyes darting from their faces to…well, you know.

Sonic and Knuckles paled and scooted away from the man in fear.

"Hey Jake! The badger ain't moving!" Typhoon shouted. He was kneeling down beside the unconscious fox, poking him with a stick. "Is he dead?" he said excited.

"Nah. I still hear him breathing." He said. The boy whined in disappointment as the Kitsune began to stir with all the poking in his ear.

"Aw! He looks so cute when he's asleep." Jake said kneeling beside him as well.

Flame goaned coming behinf his leader to glare at his back. "Can't you guys get your heads out of the gutter and get back to buis-"

"Look! He's alive!" Typhoon exclaimed.

"What? Of course he's alive you idiot! Why wouldn't-"

"Aw! Did the little foxy baby had a nice nap?" Jake cooed as he knelt down, pulling on his ear.

"Is ANYONE listening to-"

"I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!" Tails exclaimed, bolting off the ground, still too dizzy to see straight.

Knuckles looked from one to another, seeing no one had the same surprised/scared/freaked out expression he had; Sonic wasn't listening, Typhoon was too busy trying to film everyone and everything, while Jake and Flame just watched him carelessly.

"AM I THE ONLY ONE NORMAL AROUND HERE?!" Knuckles exclaimed angrily, waving his arms around madly.

When no one said anything, he slapped his face in annoyance. 'There seems to be no intelligent life anywhere these days.' He thought shaking his head.

"Tails? Did you eat glue again?" Sonic asked seeing his friend spin on his heels.

"HEY! I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah! So I don't have to take that crap from squawny weaklings!" Tails shouted.

"Tails! You were drinking oil again weren't y-"

"Screw you pippy!" Tails exclaimed.

Jake came over and stood by Sonic with a happy smile. "I like him. He's crazy." He said.

Tails shook his head and looked around like he was on some alien planet. Once he saw Team monster, standing by with a careless look enjoying the show, he lost what little sanity he had left.

"Alright! Enough is enough! Th-This is the final! Th-The very last straw!!" Tails yelled sounding more and more weak and angry by the words. "Who are you?! A-and what do you want with us?!"

The Monster Team looked at him with mild interest. The Jake had an idea. Without moving his mouth, he spoke, to Tails, and Tails only.

"You need to calm down little guy." Jake said in Tails head.

Tails yelped and spun around looking in all directions. "W-Who said that?!" Tails shouted into the plains.

Knuckles looked around seeing no one. Again, Sonic did nothing but watched the sky like there was something interesting in the sky.

"Uh, Tails? There's no one her-"

"I believe you need you be taught a lesson." The voice spoke again.

"WHERE ARE YOU?!" Tails screamed, earning Knuckles last bit of hope that he was sane at all. "Alllllllrighty then." Knuckles said awkwardly. Stepping back from the boy.

"I'm right here!" Jake said out loud.

Tails spun around again. Jake just waved at him smiling innocently. "WHO'S TH WISE GUY?!" Tails shouted.

"Why, whatever do you mean Mr. Badger?" Jake said giving him the "I didn't do anything wrong" look.

"Someone was talking! I know it!" The boy yelled.

"No body talked." Jake said. "But me." The voice said.

"THERE!! You did it again?" Tails said stepping back, his eyes growing wide.

"Did what?" Jake aid. His teammates were trying their hardest not to burst out laughing. "You man this?" Jake voiced in Tails head.

The Kitsune's eye twitched, and he exploded. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" Tails exclaimed, and ran away like a madman.

Knuckles watched his friend run into the desert confused. 'This is a sure sign of the apocalypse!' he thought. He shrugged. 'Eh, we can pick him up later.' He thought. He turned to Team Monster, who were all laughing on the ground. "Uh, can we help you?" Knuckles said.

The one with the wings stood up and nodded. "Yeah, We're looking for a bat who stole our-"

"Say no more." Knuckles sighed, slapping his forehead. 'Rouge, I swear, you're going to kill us all one day!' he thought rubbing her temples.

"So you know where she is?!" Typhoon exclaimed, running up to Knuckles. He stared at him for minute, thinking he was looking at a messed up Fun-House mirror. He shook the thought away and nodded.

"Yeah. I think they're the Casino grounds or something." He said.

"No they're not." Sonic spoke up.

Knuckles looked to see Sonic was _still_ looking up in the sky. "OH really? Why do you think that?"

"Because there they go." Sonic pointed upward to point out a large robot flying overhead with several boxes on its back.

"Oh, well, there you go." Knuckles said, scorching his head confused and lost. 'Ok, I think I'm in some stupid fanfiction written by a no talent nut job.'

"Great! We have a lea now!" Flame cried out.

"YOU BASTARDS!!" shouted a voice from behind.

Everyone whipped around to see tails, standing on a rock, holding a large machine gun in one hand with several grenades in another. "TIME TO SAY HOSTAVISTA BABY!!" Tails shouted, aiming his gun for the team, and Knuckles.

"Hey! Wait! Not me you idiot!!" Knuckles exclaimed, waving his hands.

The team looked at each other before saying the most unbelievable words, ever.

"Okily Dokily!" Jake said holding an "Ok" sign with his fingers.

"Boy did we get screwed." Typhoon said sticking his tongue out like a silly boy.

"We should flee in terror." Flame said calmly grabbing his teammates, watching the fox in fear. "Yes, that would be the wisest choice." He said taking off running like hell were after them…again. Only it was an orange insane fox instead of a pink hedgehog Lumberjack.

"DIE!!! DIE!! DIE!!!" Tail exclaimed shooting at the trio insanely. He shot everything, but the team; including rocks, plants, several birds ("Yay!" thought Flame), lizards and a passing Jackrabbit or two.

"I'LL SHOW YOU THE REAL MEAINIGN OF PAIN OF SUFFERING!! YOU HEAR ME YOU FRAKING PIECES OF WALKING TURDS?!!" Tails screamed, still shooting with his eyes closed.

"You know!" Jake shouted as Flam took flight with Typhoon filming everything. "You could poke someone's eye out with that thing!"

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!" Tails cried out angrily.

As the Team flew away with Tails stuck on the ground because of his heavy equipment still shouting like a maniac, Sonic fast asleep on the ground, Knuckles sighed and walked away.

'I need a vacation.'

* * *

A small robot flew overhead carrying a heavy bag with a TV inside. But we all knew the "TV" was nothing more than a recording and a bomb attached to it.

"Geez! Eggman needs to make these things less haevey!" the little robot whined.

"How heavy can it be?" said a voice in his head.

Thinking it was his subconscious, Bukkon replied to it. "Heavy!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's really heavy for just a small bom-" the robot stopped. "I don't have a subconscious! Robot's don't have those!!"

Thinking rashly, the robot spun around to see three figures flying next to him.

One waved at him. "Hello!" he said smiling coyly. "You're a strange little robot. Want to be my toy?" he said cocking his brow up at him.

Bokkun froze in mid air, his small jet pack bubbling loudly behind him. One of the heavier packages slipping under his shocked grip snapped him back to reality.

"Um…Hi guys!" he squeaked out nervously like a child being caught stealing cookies.

The group said nothing and continued to tare at him.

"Um…anything you need?" he asked cocking a nervous smile.

"Is…he the one we're looking for?" Jake asked looking down at his pilot.

Flame shook his head. "no. The robot we're looking for is much bigger. This one looks like he can barely hold his own pants up, let alone go on the quests we heard of and fight."

Bokkun huffed and held his finger at them. "HEY! You can't treat me like that! Why, I oughta-"

"Oh! Anger! Yes! YES! Show us the anger!" Typhoon suddenly cried out, pulling out his camera. Jake watched from Flames's back with a bored expression while Flame held a bemused one.

Jake then smirked. "I wonder little robot. Are those horns for more than decoration?" he asked with a quiver of the brow.

Bukkun continued to watch until-

"YOUR ALL NUTS!!" he exclaimed and bolted the other way.

The trio sat in mid-air for second or two watching the terrified robot fly away.

"So…are you-"

"Yeah, yeah."

Flame flew forward, easily keeping a close, but far, distance from the robot. Close enough to follow him, but not enough to let him know they were behind him.

The little robot flew and flew until he reached a white penthouse near the docks. After panting on the stoop of the large shoreline home, he knocked shakily. A tall green Alligator opened the door, looking around. "Hello?" he asked the outside world.

The little robot was still too out of breathe to answer him, so he waved tiredly to get his attention.

That didn't work.

"Dang kids!" he muttered and shut the door in Bukkun's face.

He ringed the doorbell this time. The alligator answered again, still not noticing the robot. "Hello?!"

Bukkun was about to answer when the alligator swung the door shut again in his face.

Getting irritated, he kicked at the door with a furious rage.

"WHAT?!" Vector roared.

"Hey! Down here dumb-dumb!!" Bunnkun shouted.

Vector looked down to see the little robot. "Why are you pulling pranks?"

"I wasn't-"

"Never mind! Just get in!" he interrupted and pulled him in.

At the very moment, Team Monster landed not to far away from the scene.

"Is…this the right place?" Jake asked

"Well, that kid went in there didn't he?" Flame said.

"Only one way to find out!" Tyhpoon exclaimed, whipping out his camera and racing to the door, ringing the doorbell about 18 times in 2 seconds. Thunderous footsteps boomed from beyond the door and the alligator answered it once again with his gun already in the face of Typhoon.

"ALRIGHT BUDDY!!! Cut the damn pranks or I'll blow that miniature brain of yours all over the sidewalk!!" he shouted.

"BRILLIANT!!!" Typhoon shouted, having his camera in the barrel of the gun. "This is perfect! The anger! The suspense! The soon to be seen blood shedding!" He pulled away to smirk happily. "I like it!" he said waggling his eyebrows.

Vector lowered his gun, in more of a dumbstruck motion than anything else. "Uh…."

"Hi!" Jake shouted, pushing Typhoon into the street with a loud crash and shook the bland man's hand. (hey that rhymed! XD) "I'm Jake, and you might be…."

"huh? Customers?!" he exclaimed happily.

A small bee was on his head with the same equal smile. "REALLY?!" he screeched.

"Now hold on just a min-" Before Flame could finish, he, Jake and Typhoon were pulled in by Vector and Charmy and thrown on a worn out red couch. Jake just smiled, like he was enjoying this.

"Ooooh, what are you bad boys going to do to us now?" he asked wiggling around in his seat.

Flame rolled his eyes and looked around while Typhoon videotaped everything that moved.

In the far corner was a certain purple chameleon ninja, sitting crossed and having a couple of candles lit around him.

"AWSOME!! A dead man in the very living room!" Typhoon shouted, aiming his camcorder at him.

"Hmm?" Espio said waking from his meditation. His eyes landed on the odd trio, and he had to sweatdrop when the black haired one winked at him.

"Um….Vector?" The crocodile burst into the room with a loud cry-"SO!"

"DAH!!" the startled lizard exclaimed and jumped into the ceiling with a loud crash. He hung there, his limbs frozen still with shock until he finally realized….he couldn't breathe.

The other two teammates ignored Espio's cries and pleas for assistance and went on in front of Team Monster with tea and cakes on a tray.

"Your customers, right?" Vector said in an overly happy voice.

"Um, no. We'll looking for-"

b "AIR!!!" /b screamed a voice from above. Everyone looked up to see Esio's arms pushing on the ceiling, trying to free himself from his prison. b "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I NEED AIR!!" /b

"Espio, quit scaring the paying customers." Vector sighed. Charmy just laughed his little stinger off at the sight.

"YAY! We're gonna witness a death scene!" Tyhoon squealed, facing the video cam up.

"I feel like we should help." Flame said disinteresting. He turned to his leader. "What do you think Ja-" he stopped seeing Jake's perverted smile….again.

"Nice ass." Jake sneered.

Flame scooted away from his leader.

Finally, the whole ceiling exploded with debris raining down, along with a knocked out Espio that came crashing one table of cakes and tea twitching. Vector and Charmy began to clap.

"That was awesome dude!" Charmy laughed.

"Fantastic!" Typhoon cried out with stars all over his face. Flame just stood by, uncaring.

Espio had enough energy to lift his head and glare at his two "teammates". "When I get the feeling back in my rib cage, I'm gonna-"

High pitched laughing interrupted the two. They all turned to see Bokkun on the ground, laughing and rolling hysterically.

"I guess the message went off too soon." Bokkun laughed.

"Wha? What message?" Charmy said flying to him cautiously.

"The one Eggman wanted me to deliver!" Bokkun gasped between his giggles.

Jake stood up and walked over to him. "What was the message little man?" he asked curiously.

"Huh? AH!" he jumped away from the freaky dude and stood closer to Charmy. "Um, the message was for all team members to meet together at Casiopolis!" he squeaked out.

"Hmmm…" Jake mumbled, thinking. "You invited ALL members right? Including Team Dark?"

Bokkun nodded, and inched himself closer to the door for a quick escape.

"Boys!" Jake exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "We're going to the casino!" he cried out.

"Fine. But I'm not flying us there." he said with a tired sigh.

"Hey guys!" Typhoon shouted and waving from the other room. "Look at what I found!" He pointed to a large red spaceship.

"Perfect!" Jake said with a clap to his hands.

"Hey wait a minute! You can't just-"

Too late. The trio went into the ship and took off with Jake in the window, making faces at them.

Vector shouted and chased after them angrily, shouted very naughty things that made Charmy cy.

Bokkun was already in the air with a mocking laugh. "See you around losers!"

Several spinning ninja thingies were sent flying at him, barely missing him by an inch. Espio chased him into the city, shouting and yelling like a Viking. Why you ask? Cause I think he'd make a funny Viking opera singer, that's way. Don't you agree?

* * *

Things didn't go so well soon after the launch of the rocket. Instead of going to the casino, they ended up going towards the ugly mustachioed moon.

As our favorite trio shot passing birds from open windows, laughed at the people in pain below, and videotaped everyone last thing they saw that resembled blood…

Another team down below was having trouble finding the very same casino.

"Where are they?" said an annoyed bat, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently. He was grey and had green giggles on his head with a sleeveless green shirt and grey shorts. He twisted a large map upside down with his lather gloved hands and tilted his head slightly with a little whine escaping his throat.

"You're the one with the map Greed!" another member sighed. This one was a female pink cat. Her short hair was tied on a loose ponytail with a black hat over her cat ears and mostly over her crown of pink hair. She narrowed her magenta eyes while she readjusted her sleeveless stripped pink and black shirt. Another certain member had the nerve to hug her just moment ago while she as trying to fix her boots and black pants.

"Can't you at least tell us where we were SUPPOSE to meet Team Monster?!" the kitty said placing her hands on her hips impatiently.

"Oh Satsuki!" mewed a third voice. Two slender arms suddenly wrapped themselves around her neck and a voice purred in her ear. "I never knew you'd be so demanding!"

The one hugging the cat was a red-orange fox with long hair going past her waist with her tail nearly dragging on the ground in pretty curls. She wore a low cut jeans stopping at her shins with sandals and a

The cat twitched before quickly shoving off the vixen off her. "Quit it Vogue." she muttered under her breathe.

"Awww, you're turning pinker than usual!" the vixen laughed.

"Hey! When do I get a hug?" Greed whined from behind. The fox ignored the bat and hugged the cat tighter.

The cat pushed off the vixen, and she just laughed at her again, and Satsuki walked over to the bat and grabbed the map away from him. Her expression dropped and she rolled the map up slowly. "Greeeed…." she sang out in a low tone. "Just WHERE did you find this map?"

"I found it back in Idaho, why?" he said confused. The map met his head in a angry swipe! "OW! What, what? What I'd do?"

"This is a map of Mississippi!" Satsuki cried out smacking him again.

"Ow! Ow! What, what's your point?"

Satsuki groaned and bonked her head on an old tree. All around was fog, and thin weak trees barely thick enough to grasp them with your bare hand, and fog, and branches sticking out of unknown corners obscuring their vision, and fog, and looming shadows that have no object to shadowed from, and fog, and bushes thick and bushy with thorns and ugly flowers, and…..did I mention fog?

"Boy, I bet in the script the fog didn't have this much fog." Greed mumbled and the annoying narrator continued.

"HEY! I'm trying to make a joke here!" the narrator shouted at the bat.

"Well you suck at it!" Greed shouted back into the cloudy sky.

"Greed, why are you talking to the sky?" Vogue said curiously.

"What? I didn't say anything." Greed quickly said to cover up his own dumb mistake. "Hey!"

Satsuki sighed and pulled out her little razor cell phone. After a pause, the other line picked up. "Hello?" said a sweet vice on the other line.

"Minami?" Satsuki said, happy to hear an actual sane voice after being stuck with her teammates for so long.

"Satsuki? Hi!" the girl on the other line chirped. "How are you?"

"In a very bad situation." Satsuki groaned. "Greed got us lost, again!" she said while sending the bat a glare.

"What? What I'd do this time?" the bat said waving his hands in the air.

"Really? Aw, well at least you're spending quality time with them!" Minami replied happily.

Satsuki looked behind her once more to see Greed poking at a dead flower and it suddenly biting him. "Dah! GETITOFF! GETITOFF! GETITOFF!!" he cried out. Vogue laughed at him and sneakily tripped him as he went by.

"Yeah. Quality time." she muttered. "So anyway, can you locate where we are by the call?" she asked.

"Um, I could check with Rikou on it kay? Oh! By the way! Did I tell you Tom' here?"

Satuski's heart skipped beat and her cheeks bloomed a brighter pink. "R-Really?" she said.

"Yeah! But he seems angry about something. Something about a crystal ball."

"Can I talk to him?" she nearly pleaded. It ha been so long sicne she has seen her boyfriend.

"Sure! Just –et m- -t hi-! buzz -at-uki?"

"Tom? Tom! Hello?!"

"-our –aking up! Whe- -re –ou?"

"Tom?! Oh God, hello?! HELLO?!!" Satsuki screamed into the phone.

No response came to her except the blinking message on her screen saying, "lost call".

b "DAMMIT!!" /b she screamed with birds flying from their perches and flying away frighteningly.

"Now what are we going to-"

Suddenly an old, wrinkled face appeared before them and laughed like the maddest person tat ever lived.

The team all screamed bloody murder and huddled together like frightened cheetahs.

The old face belonged to an old man…uh…woman…um, oh! Just some really, really old person hard to describe! He (or she) had a small hat with old robes all over him (or her, let's just say he/she is a him kay?) She sat on a small mound of mud with her face covered in splotches of mud and….frog guts?

The trio stared at her for s full minute until the man suddenly yelped out, causing them to yelp out in turn and jump back a step. The man then cackled at them in a high pitched voice.

No one said anything again for a full minute with the man just staring at them with his wide mad eyes.

Satsuki glanced at her teammates and cleared her throat. "Ah-"

"Who are you?" the man creeked out. (I think that's a higher tone than croaked)

"Um…we're the greatest and most powerful team there is! We fought giant monsters, ravaged robots, and even defeated the evil rabbit of Tantanooni!"

"Greed shuddered from her side at the name.

"We're team-"

"Speak up!"

Satsuki squeaked out and Vogue held her arm at her squeak with a perverted purr. She ignored her as she had trouble finding her voice with the man's eyes widening even more and staring at them in wonder. "We're-we're lost." she finally managed to say.

"Oh?" the man said cocking his head to the side. "What a shame. Pity. But maybe you'll find a good place to die that way!" he said pointing in two directions with his arms. He cackled some more seeing the bat look one way and the fox the other way with hopeful eyes. Satsuki sighed at their antics and glared at the mad man.

"Who are you?" she asked jerking away from her teammates vice grips.

"I am SHA-la-AAAAACK!!!" the man screeched and managed to break a glass from some far off place at his high voice. "Guardian of the veil."

"What, what veil?" Greed asked.

"This one!" the man said pulling out a wedding veil. He laughed some more and spun on his bottom. How he could while sitting down was a mystery.

"Ok Mr. Shalama-"

"Say it like you mean it!" the man said leaning down at them.

"Um…ok SHA-la-MAA-"

"It's AACK!" he exclaimed and pulled out a cane (where did that come from? O-o) and bonked them all on the head. "Ack! Ack! Ack!!" he shouted while hitting them all.

"Ow! Ow! What, what's the big deal!" Greed shouted and pulled out his guns. "I'll blow out your-"

"Wait Greed!" Satsuki cried out and grabbed his arm as the man spun in place again. "We need him for directions! Or we'll be lost here forever! If we don't, then the most magnificence, powerful, great and awesome team will die as one as team-"

"What, what?! I can get us out of here!" he said tugging his arm away.

"Please don't." she said slapping her forehead.

"Do you need that cane?"

Satsuki whirled around to see Vogue looking at the cane curiously.

"Why yes! It keeps the chickens in line back home!" the man replied happily.

"Really? Wow! I wonder how you use it…." she said smirking at the man. She rose in the air and the cane suddenly flew out of her hand, waved, spun and waved some more at her. She grabbed it again with a growl. "Hey! I wasn't going to do anything!" she cried out over her personnel tug of war. "C'mon you stupid-I wasn't finished! I wasn't do-ONE!" she cried out as the cane flew off into the forest with her in tow on the ground. "I wasn't finsiiiiished!" Vogue shouted, her voice fading away as she disappeared into the fog.

"Um…" "Dude…" was all the last two remaining teammates could say.

The man laughed again and swung around on his seat. "Alright! You can have a map!" he laughed.

Satsuki sighed in relief while Greed pouted. "I never got to use my guns…" he whined.

The man didn't move but smiled creepily down at them with the same wide grin. "I like piiiiie…" he said dumbly.

"Sooo… what're you waiting for?" Greed asked.

The man leaned over him, same grin plastered, and eyed him. Greed squeaked out in surprised and ran behind Satsuki to hide.

"You need to answer three difficult questions." ….. "EACH!" he shouted as she started at Greed. He hid lower behind Satsuki in fear.

"Uh…ok what are-"

"BUT!! Be warned…for if you answer INcorrectly…you will be fed to the dragon in the mud!"

"What?" Greed squeaked out. "What dragon?!"

"Why this one!" he said patting the mound he sat on. "This is his head. The rest in buried under the mud!" He laughed and pounded on the mound crazily. Sure enough, the ground shook slightly and the mound quivered.

"OK! OK! WE GET IT!!" Satsuki screeched with Greed holding onto her while repeating, "I love my dirt! I love my dirt!" "Just tell us already! Or else we're going have to defeat you, in the most crucial and agonizing battle of all time! You'll be over powered by the most magnificent, brave, noble… TEAM-"

"Yeah, yeah whatever." the man interrupted. "Ok team-what-what, here's question one for the little beaver!" he said pointing at Satsuki.

"Wha? I'm a cat you delusional old-"

"WHAT….is the date?" he said.

"Huh? Oh um, the April 12th."

"WHERE…do Spaniards live?"

Satsuki stared at him for a second then answered, "Spain?"

"WHAT…is your name?" he asked at last.

For a long minute, Satsuki had to fought the urge to ask herself, "Are you kidding?!" "Satsuki." she growled feeling her patience wearing thin.

"Good! You have answered all questions!" he cried out madly and spun in place like a top.

"What, what?!! That's it?!" Greed exclaimed. He humped in front of Satsuki and puffed out his small chest. "Fire away old man!" he shouted.

"Aright! Question 1, WHAT is your favorite food?"

"Bean Burritos!" he said proudly. Satsuki nodded behind him gravely as she remembered hi last burrito.

"Question B! WHO is your leader?!"

"Ha! M-OW!!" he cried out as a kick met his bottom. He glared at the pink kitty and growled. "Alright, Satsuki." he grumbled.

"Ok, and now Question 4, HOW does a sparrow travel?" he asked.

"The, I should know this." Greed mumbled with a flick of his nose.

"INCORRECT!!!"

"WHAT, WHAT?!! I didn't mean-"

"You shall be fed to my pet BERNARD!!" he shouted and was about to hit his mound when Satsuki cried out, "WAIT!"

She stood in front of Greed protectively with him in a fatal position on the ground shaking. "You-you haven't let our last member answer yet!" she exclaimed.

"Hmmm….your right! Ok! If your last teammate doesn't answer correctly, then you will all be fed to Bernard! How's that?" he said sweetly.

Satsuki tightened her fists and nodded.

The old man whistled and out of the trees came his cane.

"But where's-"

"YEAAAAH!!" screamed a female as she crashed landed on the cat. "Wow! I got to see Africa!" she said happily while hopping on her pillow.

"Vogue…get off." growled a voice beneath her.

"Hmm? Oh hi guys!" Vogue said disinteresting.

"Hey Suki?" Greed said from underneath her, his voice sounding muffled for some reason.

"What?" she growled feeling her abdomen being punctured by his gun.

"My face is in your chest."

Satsuki's eyes widen and she looked to see indeed his face was in her chest and a pervted grin was on his face.

"GREED!!" she screamed and smacked him, her face blushing brightly.

"Aw! I was going to do that." Vogue said felling left out. Though what she meant was a mystery.

"Ok! You! The kitty in jeans!" the old man cried out pointing to Vogue.

"Coming!" she said tiredly and walked over to him."

"WHAT are you dong?"

"Nothing."

"WHO is your most treasured toy?"

Vogue smirked at Satsuki and pointed at her. "Her."

"What?!" she cried out.

"Good! Now, if a train leaving City Town at 5 pm going at 67 miles per hour, and another train leaving Chicken Valley at 3 pm going at 70 miles per hours, which will reach Central Moron Cave first?" he asked.

Greed and Satsuki gaped at him. "WHAT, WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO ANYTHGING?!" Greed exclaimed.

"I don't know. But my aunt is on one of them and I want to know if she'll crash there first or not."

Satsuki stared at the man with the famous, "Wtf?" expression.

"Easy!" Vogue said with her hands on her hips.

Greed and Satsuki grinned happily, awaiting the-

"They'll be late!"

-never mind.

"Hmmm……you are correct!" the old man cried out and spun in place.

"Alright!" Greed cried out, and he and Satsuki glomped Vogue in a bear hug.

"We're getting out of here! We can finally find that casino! I new we can do it! And the most famous, great and powerful team that ever lived triumphs! Team-"

"Well, I have some bad news. I don't have a map! But I have crack!"

The whole group fell into a stunned silence.

"Oh yes! I'm absolutely coo-coo for crack!"

Two hands grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down to meet the furious face of a pissed off kitty-cat. "You mean to tell me…we went through this whole damn Game with you, and you don't even have the freaking map?!!" she screamed, the fires of hell burning on the back of her neck.

"Neat! But could you have something about that breathe of yours? Smells like catfish."

The fires grew behind the cat's head until her whole back was set aflame.

"You know, maybe we can, you know, go around and find out way around?" Vogue offered blowing on her manicured nails.

"What, what is the point? I can find us a way out of this in NO-time!" Greed cried out. "I'll just fly up there and-"

A hand grabbed his shirt and pulled him down. "WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!!" Satsuki roared still holding the old man with her other vice grip. Kantars appeared at her hands and they sparked with electricity and shined an extra bit at the pointy tips.

"Ar! I'm Captain Piggy!" he laughed.

"Um….I-I forgot?" Greed stuttered shaking under her furious glare.

"Oh, you'll forget a lot more than that! With the grand fury of the leader of Team-"

"Hey look!" Vogue said pointing up.

Everyone turned up and something large and on fire was falling to the earth, and towards them!!

"AAAAAAAAAH!!" the team with no name screamed and ran off. The old man sat on his mound and laughed up a storm. The flaming craft fell and fell through the trees.

"EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!" the man sang out suddenly. He grabbed his cane and played it like a guitar. Oddly enough, there was music playing. "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!"

The thing crashed on the ground, sending the whole lad up in smoke. The team, who were still running for their loves, realized Greed could fly and kicked him into the air with the smoke coming close in. They barely made it (with Vogue holding onto Satsuki for dear life and Satsuki nearly making the bat's arm bleed with her claws out.

When the smoke cleared, there was nothing but a giant crater and the craft, which was bright red and had a bikinied alligator on the side, in the center, steaming still.

"Um…guys?" Greed said. "I can't hold you all for much longer.

"Just keep going straight and don't look back!" Satsuki cried out.

"But-"

"JUST DO IT!!"

"Ok! Ok! I'm going!" Greed sputtered and flew as fast as he could towards…well, over the forest trees. Something hit him on the head and he nearly lost balance, making the girls scream and hold on tighter. "Ow! What, what was that?!" he shouted angrily and looked everywhere. "I'll blast-"

"JUST GO!!!" Satsuki cried out and bit his hand.

"Ow! Ok! Ok! What, what did I do?"

"You guys are so funny." Vogue laughed.

"Shut it Vogue! When I get home! I'm going to tear your arms off and YOU, your wings! In the great name of Team-"

"You say that too much." Vogue interrupted.

"Yeah. Might as well just say what team we are right? Instead of saying how great and awesome we are. Well, no doubt there of course but you really should-"

Satsuki growled as both Vogue and Greed continued.

"Quality time." she growled under her breathe. "More like Torture time."

The trio went off and down below the air craft's door burst open and a Black creature hopped out. "Wow! That was awesome! Let's do it again!" Jake said hopping slightly.

"NO! NOT do it again!" Flame shouted as he stumbled out of the doorway. He looked up and saw a big fat flying bird with bat wings. He smirked a clicked his gun ready.

"Wow! Look at all the debris!" Typhoon cried out excitedly and jumped out onto Flame who shot but missed. It hit the ear of the flying thing and it was sent downward with a silent crash over yonder. "Do you think we hit someone?" he asked taping the blown away trees.

"Why hello's there!" said an old voice. The team turned to an ld man on a mound. "Who are you and what-"

Flame shot him.

"What's did you do that for?" Jake asked mildly curious.

Flame shrugged. "You know what they say. Shot first, ask questions later."

Jake looked at him as Typhoon sped to the man to tape his oozing blood. "Isn't it the other way around?"

Flame said nothing and suddenly grabbed his arm and Typhoons. "C'mon! We're hot on the trail!"

"Wait! Just a little more! I think his heart's leaking out!" Typhoon cried out, but Flame ignored him ad flew up anyway.

Down below, a certain trio was out cold on the ground with Greed mumbling, "What…what hit me?"


End file.
